Helm is 27 today.

the future upwards expanding

So, another year closer to thirty. Thoughts and resolutions follow.

This year was a mixed bag. The resolution was, I believe, to get a job and/or publish the comic (ZX). Both of these goals have been achieved. A hidden internal goal of the last few years was also to achieve some sort of equilibrium between the internal drives and what I require from the people close to me. How to use them but not abuse them and how to be a better friend. It seems much more work has to be done in this front, but before I can tackle that, I need to feel more of an adult. So the next step is to become mobile and self-sustaining. In this vein, I'm planning to move out and get a motorbike license. And possibly find additional work to secure these new movements.

My emotional life has been in turmoil in the last 4-5 months, and this is one of the reasons I haven't been posting as much as I had in the past (the other being that I don't have many comics to post at the moment!). Pushing aside the feeling of disappointment and despondency (disaffection, disassociation, dissomething or another) I realize that half of the weight of this result, at least, rests on my shoulders. It is difficult to become a human. And I'll tell you readers why that is:

There's things inherent to one's personality they cannot tinker with without upsetting everything else that makes one what they are, good and bad. And there's other aspects of them that are unfavorable and it's moderately possible to amend them, to become a better human. A friend or lover or other such close person has an obligation towards you to make a judgment call on which of the debris of one's personality are which. They may say "this is just Helm being Helm and we shall accept him as he is" and this is healing and good if the aspect of the personality they are accepting is inherent and motivates both good and bad reflexes. That I am a person very prone to (over)analysis and navelgazing is such a characteristic. It cannot be fixed, I don't need anyone to try to fix it for me.

But there's also surface aspects of one's personality that, when accepted, tend to fester. That's where you need vigilant friends and close ones to push you along the road to betterment, not people that completely 'accept you as you are'. I'm struggling with some such issues, I am not sure where it'll lead. I wonder why humans feel such tremendous self-doubt, where this comes from and what purpose it serves and I haven't come up with any answers. I need to work a lot, and it seems, sometimes, work a lot alone to get to something concrete on this front.

So, along with 'growing up' a bit this year, moving out, being self-sustaining and all that, my parallel goal is the great work of self-understanding and self-acceptance in tandem. Not one without the other. Difficult balance through a misty field. The way is dim but somehow I may yet find it.

Read more...

Thank you / Ευχαριστώ πολύ

It is done. It exists and it has been bought by numerous wonderful people. I feel elation not unlike that after having given birth. This is said with the lack of weight characteristic to the gender that will never have that experience and therefore approximates it with artistic endeavours, but even so!

Thank you to every single one of you that paid patronage for the book. I sincerely wish you are not burdened by the story and that you find something positive in it, as this is how it is meant. If you'd like to give something further back, you could discuss the book and your impressions in the comments here, or e-mail me in private (if you're the shy type).



Below repeats the same message in Greek.



Έγινε, υπάρχει και το αγόρασαν πολλοί υπέροχοι άνθρωποι. Νοιώθω ξαλάφρωμα ανάλογο μετά της γέννας. Το λέω αυτό με την ανάλαφρη διάθεση χαρακτηριστική του φύλλου που ποτέ δεν θα την έχει αυτή την εμπειρία και μπορεί μόνο να την προσεγγίσει με δημιουργήματα τέχνης, άλλα έστω!

Ευχαριστώ τον κάθε ένα σας που αγόρασε το βιβλίο. Ειλικρινά ελπίζω να μην σας βαραίνει και να βρείτε κάτι θετικό μέσα του, εγώ έτσι το εννόησα. Αν θέλετε να δώσετε κάτι σαν επιπλέον αντίδωρο, μπορείτε να συζητήσετε τις εντυπώσεις σας από το βιβλίο στα σχόλια παρακάτω, ή να μου στείλετε ιδιαίτερος μήνυμα εδώ (εάν ντρέπεστε) .

Read more...